Tender Mercies …”tender mercies of the Lord are over all those whom he hath chosen, because of their faith, to make them mighty….” 1 Nephi 1:20
I had the sweetest tender mercy experience at the gym of all places…
I have been on the edge of melt down through Christmas and the days after. I have pushed and nudged my emotions and feelings down to keep them in check, but the other day, I just couldn’t do it anymore. I lost it, I totally lost it. Don was wondering what in the world! (This is not like me at all). Anyway, so many things on the “get the house ready for sale” to do list, along with mission paper work…it was just building up and I exploded.
Problem number one…I really love this house, I really really do. I love the feeling of it. l love when the kids come over to visit and cook and play and eat. I love gathering in the kitchen over cookies and a yummy Sunday dinner. I love hearing football games upstairs and little feet running down the hall. I am struggling with letting it go, so there’s that!
Then add the whole mission thing, which by the way, we have talked about our whole married life…it is that “someday”. Well, someday is happening and in reality, I don’t know if I am ready for that. Do you feel the reason for my bubbling eruption. It just feels like so much, so fast. I am feeling out of control and I can’t seem to pull on the rope hard enough to slow it down. It brings on panic and anxiety.
After a good long cry and a 2 hour nap, I felt better able to cope…
The next morning sweating on the elliptical machine at the gym, I listened to a talk by Anthony Sweat from a Time Out For Woman…It was called, ” Patterns for His Presence” He read the few short verses in Matt 19:16-22
16 ¶ And, behold, one came and said unto him, Good Master, what good thing shall I do, that I may have eternal life?
17 And he said unto him, Why callest thou me good? there is none good but one, that is, God: but if thou wilt enter into life, keep the commandments.
18 He saith unto him, Which? Jesus said, Thou shalt do no murder, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness,
19 Honour thy father and thy mother: and, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.
20 The young man saith unto him, All these things have I kept from my youth up: what lack I yet?
21 Jesus said unto him, If thou wilt be perfect, go and sell that thou hast, and give to the poor, and thou shalt have treasure in heaven: and come and follow me.
22 But when the young man heard that saying, he went away sorrowful: for he had great
possessions.
These are the insights:
This young man came seeking…What lack I yet?
….I don’t know if you have ever prayed that before, but its scary. You don’t know what might become of that. I have been praying and pondering that question for some time with nothing but silence to follow the question…surely there is something!!!!
Then Jesus said to this young man, “Go and sell that thou hast” and this young man went away sorrowful, for he had great possessions.
HERE’S THE LESSON….
The lesson from the Holy Ghost to Becky Corbett was…”YOU ARE THIS YOUNG MAN. You have lived the gospel your whole life and have been obedient and faithful. Now you are needing to sacrifice some things ie. my house that I love with all my heart, moving away from my children and my life as I know it. You are struggling to let go of somethings that are already Gods and have been from the beginning”. (Doctrine and Covenants 104:14-15)
14. I, the Lord, stretched out the heavens, and built the earth, my very handiwork; and all things therein are mine.
15 And it is my purpose to provide for my saints, for all things are mine.
The spirit continued this message…
“You have only been the steward and now you need to give it back”.
You aren’t willingly giving it up. Then came more lesson…once you have been obedient and have willingly sacrificed, you consecrate , dedicate it to the Lord.
Can you do that Becky?
I knew that the Savior was aware of me in that moment and in that place. He was teaching me in the sweetest and most loving way…My answer was and is, “Yes Lord, I will be obedient and sacrifice all that I have and give it back to thee”. Whatever that looks like, I am all in.
I can’t pretend that there won’t be moments of doubt and questions, but I have this personal and tender experience to ponder on and remember that Jesus knows me and knows where to find me in my thoughts, struggles and moments of weakness
THE REST OF THE STORY WAS A CURVE BALL…CAME OUT OF NOWHERE! Will write about it soon
_ _ _Sew Becky_ _ _ 